Condolence and Sympathy
One of
the most difficult times that we have to face is the devastating period we go
through when someone very dear and precious is no longer with us. The feelings
of bereavement and deprivation overcome us and we tend to go into a state of depression
and grief. It is at this stage that we require the emotional support of close
family and friends.
The
beautiful religion of Islam places dire stress on expressing condolence and
showing sympathy towards fellow human beings. We are social creatures who are
meant to indulge in activities that enhance interpersonal relationships which
in turn help to boost the feelings of love, compassion, and acquaintance in the
depressed soul.
Islam
teaches us to condole with our brothers and sisters in the way of the Sunnah of
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). It is wrong to wail and complain with the thought of
showing discontent with Allah. Instead, the lamenter should speak a few words
and recite any dua (prayer) for the deceased. The quality of patience should
remain within the mourners for this is what Allah Almighty has commanded for
us. While expressing sympathy towards the distressed and anguished person, one
should try to minimize the pain and suffering of the afflicted by mentioning
the great reward for patience and the eternal life of the hereafter. It is
mentioned in the Holy Qur'an:
"Give glad tidings to those who patiently endure, who say when afflicted with a calamity: "To Allah we belong and to Him we return." They are those on whom (descend) blessings and mercy from their Lord, and they are the ones who receive guidance."
It is desirable
to utter certain specific verses of the Quran or particular virtues that are
present in the Sunnah. For instance, it is recommended to mention the following
hadith:
"O
Allah! Reward me in my calamity and replace my loss with a better one." (Sahih
Muslim)
"Indeed!
Whatever Allah gives or takes belongs to him and everything is predestined by
Him." (Sahih Bukhari & Sahih Muslim)
Verses of
the Qur'an that can be recited during condolence are:
"All that is on earth will perish, but the face of your Lord will abide (forever), full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour"
"Every soul shall have a taste of death and only on the Day of the Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense. Only those who are saved from the fire and admitted to Paradise (Jannah) will have attained the object (of life). For the life of this world is but good and chattels of deception."
It is
permissible to weep silently or use short words that depict love for the
deceased. However, showing impatience in any form is not allowed and Muslims
should refrain from such acts as wailing, expressing loss and discontent with
the Creator, praising the departed soul with exaggeration, inflicting pain by
wasting possessions, beating the face/body, or tearing clothes.
We as
Muslims should try our best to imitate the Sunnah of our beloved Holy Prophet
(PBUH) so that we may receive the rewards for being patient and humble in our
lives. As Allay says in the Quran:
"...and be patient. Indeed, Allah is with the patient."
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